If you're gonna sue
by Thatkliqkid
Summary: SLASH ONESHOT. Hanson asks Penhall to do the chores. When he arrives home to find the house in chaos, how long can he really stay mad for? please read and review.


Doug startled from his state of dozing as the front door crashed shut. Blearily he opened his eyes, stared through frizzy bangs around the cluttered living room.

_Crap._

Hanson was home and he was meant to have been cleaning in his partner's absence. Hanson shopped, Penhall cleaned; that had been the general agreement. Only sleep had looked like the more tempting option and therefore Doug had chosen not to uphold his side of the bargain. He closed his eyes. Hanson couldn't get mad at him if he wasn't awake. _Could he?_

Hanson carried the paper bags into the kitchen, slammed them to the counter top and glanced around the dishevelled kitchen.

He emitted a sigh of exasperation.

"_Doug!" _he called, his voice steeped with annoyance.

Silence swam around him, mocking his agitated call. He clicked his tongue against his teeth in irritation before storming into the living room allowing the door to clash against the wall

"I know you're not asleep" he muttered quietly, "And the longer it takes you to open your eyes, the more annoyed I'm gonna get"

Doug remained motionless, his eyes shut, a hint of a smile playing on his plump lips.

"I'm not playing Doug" snapped Hanson

Doug peeked through his lashes, saw the glint of annoyance burning brightly in the fiery orbs of his partner and his heart sank.

" Ok, Ok I'm sorry. Ok Tommy?" he blurted, hurriedly shifting his body into sitting position. " I'm sorry I didn't clean up when you asked me to –"

"You're not sorry" interrupted Hanson, "Don't even bother pretending. How long did it take you to fall asleep after I left? Five minutes? Ten?"

"I had a nice dream though" announced Doug, refusing to provide his boyfriend with an appropriate answer.

"Oh yeah? Did the cleaning fairy visit and do all the work you were supposed to be doing?!" snapped Hanson sarcastically

"No but _you_ were a lot pleasanter in it" grumbled Doug rubbing his fists against his eyes in an effort to dislodge the sands of sleep. He swung his socked feet over the edge of the sofa and pulled himself upwards, stretching his arms out as he did so.

"Yeah well maybe in the dream the house was clean" muttered Hanson, "Maybe in the dream I didn't have to do everything myself-"

"You did some things yourself" smirked Doug suggestively. Hanson rolled his eyes at him.

"Come on Tommy don't be so mean" he continued draping his hefty form around his partner. He nuzzled his face against Hanson's shoulder.

"Stop it Doug"

"Tommy don't be so _mean_" repeated Doug jutting his lip. He stared up at his lover, his hazel eyes wide and imploring.

"_Doug"_ whined Hanson, his resolve to be mad crumbling. How was he supposed to remain annoyed when Doug was gazing at him so lovingly? Those beautiful puppy dog eyes shimmered up at him beseechingly.

" Come on Tommy you know you love me so much, yes I know it, you know it, the chapel knows it – "

He faltered his face inches away from Hanson's own, his breath warm against Hanson's flesh

"You _love_ me" he whispered, pressing his lips gently against the tip of Hanson's nose.

Hanson emitted a groan of defeat

"You were supposed to clean up" he wailed, " Now I should be mad, damn it Doug-"

His words trailed off, swallowed by Doug's tender kisses. He surrendered willingly, allowed himself to succumb to the passionate meshing of mouths, enjoyed the dizziness of lust as their teeth clashed together and relished the scratching of Doug's stubble against his own smooth chin.

He pulled away, gently moved his slender frame away from his lover, and stood panting breathlessly; caught between the will to stay annoyed and the desire to create even more mess with his partner.

"Is this my punishment for not cleaning up?" questioned Doug inhaling slowly, 'cause that's _real_ mean Tommy. You can't kiss me like that and then just leave"

"You just watch me" smirked Hanson, his eyes twinkling mischievously, he turned as if to leave, swung his slender frame round in surprise as the contents of the coffee table went hurtling to the carpet, landing on the floor with a thud.

"It's clean" grinned Doug raising his eyebrows.

Hanson felt the smile creep over his features, bit his lip in an effort to quell the bubble of laughter he felt rise in his throat. He stood staring across the room at his partner, tried his best to rearrange his mask of glee into a frown of displeasure.

" Oh yeah?"

" No," admitted Doug, " But it was sexy right?"

" _Sexy?"_ questioned Hanson raising his eyebrows questioningly, he picked his way across the room, carefully manoeuvred himself around the dishes and magazines that lay scattered on the carpet thanks to his partner's "cleaning".

"What's so sexy about you enhancing the mess?" he asked his breath light against Penhall's face.

"Showed you I'm strong" shrugged Doug

"And?" retorted Hanson snidely

"Got you nearer to me when you were about to leave" continued Doug, his eyes shimmering with delight.

"Ok but so? What's so sexy about that?" questioned Hanson

"Nothing really, but_ this_ is!" blurted Doug. He grabbed the smaller man by the hips, yanked him close to his own robust frame and giggling the pair tumbled to the couch, a mess of limbs entwined together.

Squashed against the fabric Hanson stared at his lover's face; saw himself mirrored in hazel swirls of adoring chocolate. Tentatively he raised a hand, traced his partner's lips gently with his fingers. He ran his hand over smooth pale skin, cupped Doug's chin in his palm.

"You know, I should be real pissed at you" he whispered

"Shoulda, woulda, coulda Tommy" teased Doug breathlessly as he pressed his lips firmly against his partner's. He released him slowly, lingered softly on his lover's lower lip.

"I have to put the groceries away" whispered Hanson

"Why are you whispering?"

"Why are you?" giggled Hanson, he shifted his slender form so that he lay comfortably, his body fitting neatly into the nooks and crannies of Doug's own. He rested his head against his partner's shoulder. Felt the soothing sensation of his partner's breathing beneath his tussled hair.

" If I go to sleep-"

" You are _not_ going to sleep" interrupted Doug sharply

" Sleep deprivation gotta be a crime" murmured Hanson lazily

" Yeah well withholding vital information just became a felony"

" I don't have any vital information" retorted Hanson twisting round so that he could see himself in the shimmer of Doug's eyes. He grinned wickedly.

Doug sighed softly, rearranged his features into mock despair.

"I hate to break it to you Tommy but you're busted"

"For what?" Hanson feigned outrage.

"Having an ass that fine, _gotta_ be against the law"

"I'm gonna sue you for sexual harassment Doug Penhall"

He emitted a childish squeal of pleasure as Doug tickled him, his fingers faltering as he reached his lover's crotch.

Hanson watched as Doug tugged his fly open, with a rip the zip opened. He felt his breath hitch in the back of his throat as Doug slid his hand into his boxers.

" If you're gonna sue, might as well put something good in the report" whispered Doug as he leaned in for another kiss.


End file.
